PTSD - Only Me?
I cannot possibly be the only one on this planet that feels like I am constantly trying to “find” myself.
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It’s been a back-breaking, brutalizing, exhausting yet interesting couple of years for me. Since I started a new job as the Manager of a private cemetery in Johannesburg, only 2 weeks before President Cyril Ramaphosa announced the South African Covid-19 lockdown, I have been playing catch up.
Firstly, I knew absolutely nothing about the cemetery business when I started and due to the lockdown, none of my peers or seniors could assist me with training. Thrown into the deep end, I splashed around in circles until I found myself somewhat in control. It helped that all the funerals were limited to only a couple of attendees and basically everyone in the funeral and burial industry had no idea what we should, could or must do.
It all seems so long ago, and most people seem to have moved on with life. According to KFF (The independent source for health policy research, polling, and news), however, there are concerns about mental health and substance use being elevated three years after the onset of the pandemic.
Somewhere in May 2022, I realised that something was very wrong with me. Nothing made sense anymore and I was constantly tired and undeniably negative. To cut a very long story short, I finally accepted that I had PTSD. I reached out for help from a psychologist and followed that up with a life coach. It would be fantastic to say that I have now been cured however it’s not that simple. PTSD, in my view, is not something that you simply get cured from. One needs to find the proper tools to manage the symptoms of it and even then, it creeps up on you like a thief in the night. Happy to say that I do believe I have somewhat mastered the use of the tools, a year later.
Here's how I did it.
* The psychologist – Sessions, activities, challenges, and constant motivation.
* The distractions – Short courses (Marketing and Journalism), exercise, and blogging, to name a few.
* The coach – Career coaching which quickly changed into life coaching.
I am still in the life coaching phase of the process with Marilda Wiegand, a brilliant coach, as my guiding light. Level 9 of this fulfilment coaching process has now finally inspired me to attempt writing again. After completing the Feature Journalism course with amazing results, I lost my Mojo for writing. I found myself still trying to “find” myself, my place, my happiness and most importantly my future plan. I have no idea when this journey will reach its end, nor do I know what the end should or will look like.
All I know for sure is that I would still be a dangerously depressed and scared girl if I hadn’t asked for help.
Do not wither away from PTSD, anxiety, and depression. Reach out for help.
All my love,
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