This is how we thank Organ Donors

“There are often tears in the theatre when we prepare your loved one for organ donation surgery.” Dr Sharon Rambarran paints a picture of the moments before the surgical procedure of organ donation starts. “How I make sense of this process is by remembering that on the one hand there is a terrible tragedy and on the other hand there are phone calls being made to family and friends saying: “My life is about to change.”

It’s a perfect day for spending time with family. The sun is warmer than it’s been for the past couple of weeks and the sky is clear. There is only a slight breeze that reminds you that it is August. It is Sunday the 7th of August 2022 to be exact. It is the Organ Donors Tribute Day at Fourways Memorial Park.

People of various backgrounds, cultures, beliefs, and stories, arrive at the cosy chapel. They walk down a passage, decorated with white lanterns keeping burning candles from going out. At the end of the passage is a table with more burning candles in glass vases. One’s attention is drawn to a slightly elevated arrangement of 3 hollow candles right in the centre of the table. The candle in the middle has the words ‘Organ Donor’ carved from it and the two smaller ones on either side, reads: ‘recipient’.

Dr Rambarran welcomes the families of donors and the recipients of organs who came together to pay tribute to the organ donors who are no longer with us. Ds Jacob Pretorius opens the service with a prayer. “Thank you, Lord, that we can bring our emotions, our deep hurt and need for comfort, to this day. Thank You for the fellowship that binds us together from different faiths and different backgrounds.”

Dr Rambarran, a surgeon from the Wits Donald Gordan Medical Center, takes us on a journey through the moments before the surgery takes place. “As we are about to start, the coordinator would read out a ‘Donor Pause’. Everyone in the theatre would Pause for a moment. We stop, to think about what it is that we are doing in the theatre. We stop, to think about your family and what you are going through. We stop, to pay tribute to the donor on the theatre table in front of us.”

He invites Anja Meyer to read the ‘Donor Pause’ poem. Everyone except for the donor families stands while she recites the poem, followed by a moment of complete silence.

As a symbol of remembrance and appreciation, the lighting of the organ donor candle is performed by Ms Reeba Mathews, one of the family members of an organ donor.

The Deputy Director from the department of health, Mr Lindsey Jacobs, lights the candle on behalf of the organ recipients. There is a distinct air of sadness in the chapel while everyone remembers their loved ones.

Ms Marna Horn, the coordinator for the Centre for Tissue Engineering at the Tshwane University of Technology, lights the tissue recipients candle just before she makes her way to the podium. In a short speech, she gives a heartfelt thanks to all the donor families for giving life.

“I chose to read Psalm 139 today as it talks about our creation and even though we are all from different backgrounds, we were all created,” says Ds Pretorius. He highlights specifically the part that says: You knit me together in my mother’s womb. “What struck me, he says, is how the creator knit our organs together and then the realisation I had that you, due to your courageous kindness, allowed others to continue living with the gift of your loved ones’ organs, knitted together for them.

This beautiful and comforting message is perfectly complimented by the well-known hymn: Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound, that saved…….

A young lady, only 18 years old, walks up to the podium. Dressed in a black and white striped garment, she smiles nervously before she tells her story. Tshiamo Maifale, was 12 years old when she experienced her first painful kidney stone incident. She had abdominal pains from a much younger age but due to her young age, no one suspected that she could be suffering from kidney stones. In early 2020 she had another episode of kidney stones. By the end of 2020, she was diagnosed with hyperoxaluria. She needed a liver transplant as soon as possible or she would have had to go through both a liver and a kidney transplant, should she have had to wait.

Tshiamo received a liver transplant on the 2nd of April 2021. “I am thankful for the huge amount of support and guidance from my crew and my family. I also would like to thank my donor’s family for granting me the gift of life,” she said.

Marlize De Jager, The Transplant Procurement Coordinator from Wits Donald Gordon Medical Centre, takes to the podium. Her energy and subtle giggle make everyone smile through the tears. She gives a heartfelt speech of thanksgiving to everyone that made the day possible. Her colleagues, Prof Jerome Loveland, Kim Urban, Dr Rambarran and Dr Sue Tager, the CEO. Ms Stella de Kock, Managing Director of TELL and her team. Mr Lindsey Jacobs from the department of health and all the speakers of the day.

The sponsors of the event, Fourways Memorial Park, Cartel events and Visual Feast, receive a special thank you filled with kind words of appreciation.

With the service concluded, the families and recipients make their way to the Fourways Memorial rose garden where four of the donor families participate in a symbolic planting of trees. According to Marlize, the small trees demonstrate the beginning of life, just like the donation of organs creates life for someone in dire need of it.

Finally, as the day draws closer to an end, everyone makes their way to the memorial stone where they will find the names of the organ donors engraved onto a granite stone. At the memorial stone, everyone lights a candle and places it on the memorial stone as a token of thanksgiving or remembrance of their departed loved one. Tears run down the faces of family members as they light and place their candles, personal ornaments, and flowers.

Receivers of organs stand in awe as they read the names on the granite stone. It seems as if somehow, they are hoping that the donor that gave them the gift of life, will be revealed to them. Receivers are never informed of their donor’s details, for privacy reasons.

This yearly tribute, at Fourways Memorial Park, brings a sense of peace to everyone that had undergone a life-changing experience. Whether it was to say goodbye to a loved one or being the one standing on the receiving end of the gift of life through Organ and Tissue Donation. The families enjoy a cup of coffee and some delightful treats while they reflect on the day, start new friendships, and lean on each other by sharing their stories.

“We hope that next year’s event will be a lot bigger than this year. Not because we find pleasure in mourning the deceased, but because we want to celebrate the heroic act of organ donors and their families. We, at Fourways Memorial Park, thank you for giving life.”

Written by Jackie Skeen on behalf of Fourways Memorial Park.

Photo credit: Jackie Skeen

All images were taken with consent for media use.